Thursday, July 10, 2014

Men are from Mars? Well, that explains a lot... - Part 1

If you follow any of my social media accounts then you probably already know what I'm about to say. *insert dramatic pause here* Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a great book! It's so good that I haven't even finished reading it yet (hint: the Part 1 in the title); primarily because I have literally been meditating on every page I've read as I try to digest and accept the stark differences between men & women that Dr. Gray so eloquently writes about. Differences, might I add that have left people, including me baffled and frustrated with the opposite sex for centuries.

Since I started reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus last Saturday, (after coincidentally giving a guy that I was interested in one last chance to prove to me that he wasn't the ninja that I thought he was), I have been nose deep in the book highlighting what seems like almost one sentence in every other paragraph on each page. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if I received a phone call from the folks over at the Guinness Book of World Records informing me that I've been named the world's greatest highlighter maven of all time.

The truth of the matter is, Dr. Gray has successfully penned and articulated the emotional, social, and psychological behaviors and responses of men and women involved in romantic relationships with one another. In the 5 out of 13 chapters that I have read so far, he has managed to make me develop a greater appreciation of being a woman, reflect upon my conduct in past relationships, love the male specie even more, and want to slap the next man that I see. I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that this book is so deep that I'm convinced an ocean would be jealous. Don't believe me? Keep reading...:
    ...a woman needs to recognize her boundaries of what she can give without resenting her partner. Instead of expecting her partner to even the score, she needs to keep it even by regulating how much she gives.
Prior to ever opening Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, I had come to the realization that I suffered from what I like to call the "savior effect". I made it my business to try to save ALL of the men that I was romantically involved with from whatever circumstance or situation they were currently in at that time. Given my so-called 'good' track record in life thus far, I figured that my wisdom and direction could help them overcome whatever 'I thought' was holding them back, so that they could tap into their true potential and be a better man. Yeah right! As a result, I would often pour lots of my time, effort, tears, and hard-earned money into my man hoping that it would help him see just how much I cared for him and wanted him to do better for both his sake and for the sake of our relationship. Long story short, I always ended up resenting him and myself for doing so much because honestly, I have no desire to be a second mom to a man; nor be his personal coach for that matter. I want to motivate my man to stay on a good path in life but not be the shepherd that has to lead him down that path. I want exactly what Dr. Gray describes below:
 [I] want time off. Time to explore being [myself]. Time to care about [myself] first. [I] want someone to provide emotional support, someone [I] don't have to take care of.
Lucky for me, men want to be needed and trusted by women. A woman that trusts her man enough to fulfill her needs doesn't realize that this motivates and empowers him to give more. Dr. Gray states that:
Not to be needed is a slow death for a man.
That's deeeeeeep!

Despite my experience with playing the lead role in the majority of the romantic relationships I've been in (and trust me, I've had very, very few), I have not yet given up on love. I know that there are men out there who still want to be their woman's superhero and women like me who want that as well. In the meantime, I will continue to read this book and I hope that every man and woman: single, engaged, married, or divorced, reading this review will join me in reading it too (kudos to those of you that are). Even if you don't want a relationship with the opposite sex, this book can still teach you valuable lessons on how to interact with them.

What do or did you think of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?
Could you relate to what Dr. Gray discusses about your gender in the first six chapters?
Could you apply any of the principles discussed in your current or future relationship?

Should you Open or Close this book? I plan on keeping this book open to read the remaining 7 1/2 chapters that I have left.

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